Righteous Living in
(and out of) Marriage


Readings in the Student Manual:

Author Title Pages



Elder Joe J. Christensen

Marriage and the Great Plan of Happiness

215-217
President David O. McKay Stewardship 303
President Ezra Taft Benson The Power of the Word 332-335
President Gordon B. Hinckley Four Simple Things to Help Our Families and Our Nations 346-350
Elder M. Russell Ballard The Effects of Television Internet Only
 

Readings in this Page:

The First Presidency, 1995

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

President Ezra Taft Benson

Foundation for Successful Marriages

Religious Living and Happiness in Marriage

Religion Brings Protection to One's Marriage

Counsel to Those Waiting for Marriage

Counsel to Those Waiting for the "Right" Person


The First Presidency
Foundation for Successful Marriages
The Proclamation on the Family, 1995

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.


President Spencer W. Kimball
Religious Living and Happiness in Marriage
Marriage and Divorce, pp. 23-24

To be really happy in marriage, there must be a continued faithful observance of the commandments of the Lord. No one, single or married, was ever sublimely happy unless he was righteous. There are temporary satisfactions and camouflaged situations for the moment, but permanent, total happiness can come only through cleanliness and worthiness. One who has a pattern of religious life with deep religious convictions can never be happy in an inactive life. The conscience will continue to afflict unless it has been seared, in which case the marriage is already in jeopardy. A stinging conscience can make life most unbearable. Inactivity is destructive to marriage, especially where the parties are inactive in varying degrees. Religious differences are the most trying and among the most unsolvable of all differences. ...

If two people love the Lord more than their own lives and then love each other more than their own lives, working together in total harmony with the gospel program as their basic structure, they are sure to have this great happiness. When a husband and wife go together frequently to the holy temple, kneel in prayer together in their home with their family, go hand in hand to their religious meetings, keep their lives wholly chaste, mentally and physically, ... and both are working together for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God, then happiness is at its pinnacle.


Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Religion Brings Protection to One's Marriage
However Long and Hard the Road, p. 106

Your religion should protect you against immorality and violence and any number of other family tragedies that strike at marriages throughout the land. And if you will let it, your religion will protect you against financial despair as well. Pay your tithes and offerings first. No greater financial protection can be offered you. Then simply budget what is left the rest of that month. Make do with what you have. Do without. Say no. Your head can be held high even if your clothing is not the most stylish or your home the most regal. It can be held high for the simple reason that it is not bent or bowed with the relentless burden of debt.


Pres. Harold B. Lee
Marry in the Church
Decisions For Successful Living, p. 129

Should you marry in the Church?

... [Writers] of wisdom, regardless of their religious beliefs, and indeed all responsible leaders of all churches, have counseled that you marry someone of your own religious belief. Catholics should marry Catholics. Methodists should marry Methodists. Latter-day Saints should marry Latter- day Saints. If you disregard this counsel, you must be prepared to pay the price which is rather clearly set forth by an eminent authority on this subject. These are the words of Dr. Paul Popenoe:

"This price may be almost anything. It may be alienation from your own family or alienation of your bride from hers; it may be giving up your own church to join hers; it may be the abandonment by each of church affiliation, and living thenceforward without association with organized religion; it may be less than any of these, or much more. Count the price before you go ahead; and if you want to do so, pay it, in advance." (Popenoe—Modern Marriage.)

Some of you may decide to marry out of the Church with the secret hope of converting your companion to your religious views. Your chances for happiness in your married life are far greater if you make that conversion before marriage.


Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
Counsel to Those Waiting for Marriage
Ensign, Nov. 1983

There are some who, for reasons unexplainable, do not have the opportunity of marriage. To you I should like to say, don’t spend your time and wear out your lives wandering about in the wasteland of self-pity. God has given you talents of one kind or another. He has given you the capacity to serve the needs of others and bless their lives with your kindness and concern. Reach out to someone in need. There are so very many out there.

Add knowledge to knowledge. Refine your mind and skills in a chosen field of discipline. There are tremendous opportunities for you if you are prepared to take advantage of them. Nearly all of the honorable vocations of life are now open to women. Do not feel that because you are single God has forsaken you. The world needs you. The Church needs you. So very many people and causes need your strength and wisdom and talents.

Be prayerful, and do not lose hope. But do not become obsessed with ambition to find a companion. Your obsession likely will only make you less attractive, or it may cause a weakening of your standards. Live the very best life of which you are capable, and the Lord in his greater wisdom and in his eternal season will give you answer to your prayers.


President Ezra Taft Benson
Words of Counsel to Those Waiting for the "Right" Person
(Note: Although addressed to the single women of the Church, these
wise words are for the most part equally applicable to single men)

Ensign, November 1988, p.96

... [Never] lose sight of this sacred goal.  Prayerfully prepare for it and live for it. ...  Therefore, don't trifle away your happiness by involvement with someone who cannot take you worthily to the temple.  Make a decision now that this is the place where you will marry.  To leave that decision until a romantic involvement develops is to take a risk the importance of which you cannot now fully calculate.

And remember, you are not required to lower your standards in order to get a mate.  Keep yourselves attractive, maintain high standards, maintain your self-respect.  Do not engage in intimacies that bring heartache and sorrow.  Place yourselves in a position to meet worthy men and be engaged in constructive activities.

But also, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate.  Do not be so concerned about his physical appearance and his bank account that you overlook his more important qualities.  Of course, he should be attractive to you, and he should be able to financially provide for you.  But, does he have a strong testimony? Does he live the principles of the gospel and magnify his priesthood?  Is he active in his ward and stake?  Does he love home and family, and will he be a faithful husband and a good father?  These are qualities that really matter.

And I would also caution you single sisters not to become so independent and self-reliant that you decide marriage isn't worth it and you can do just as well on your own.  Some of our sisters indicate that they do not want to consider marriage until after they have completed their degrees or pursued a career.  This is not right. Certainly we want our single sisters to maximize their individual potential, to be well educated, and to do well at their present employment.  You have much to contribute to society, to your community, and to your neighborhood.  But we earnestly pray that our single sisters will desire honorable marriage in the temple to a worthy man and rear a righteous family, even though this may mean the sacrificing of degrees and careers.  Our priorities are right when we realize there is no higher calling than to be an honorable wife and mother.

I also recognize that not all women in the Church will have an opportunity for marriage and motherhood in mortality.  But if those of you in this situation are worthy and endure faithfully, you can be assured of all blessings from a kind and loving Heavenly Father--and I emphasize all blessings.

I assure you that if you have to wait even until the next life to be blessed with a choice companion, God will surely compensate you.  Time is numbered only to man. God has your eternal perspective in mind. ...

Now, to all ... regardless of your present situations:

Be faithful.  Keep the commandments.  Establish a deep and abiding relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Know that He is there--always there.  Reach out to Him.  He does answer prayers.  He does bring peace.  He does give hope.  In the words of the Psalmist: "He is my refuge and my fortress: . . . in him will I trust." (Psalms 91:2)  Study carefully the life of the Savior.  He is our great exemplar.

Make the scriptures your constant companion.  Read daily from the Book of Mormon and receive of its strength and spiritual power.

Realize your personal self-worth.  Never demean yourself.  Realize the strength of your inner self and that, with God's help, you "can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth [you]." (Philippians 4:1)  Life does not begin only upon marriage.  There are important things for you to do right now.


This web page was published only as a support for classroom discussion.
For more information, contact Dr. Marcus Martins at: martinsm@byuh.edu