Agency & Repentance

Readings:

The Prophet Joseph Smith
No Trifling With Repentance
Teachings, p. 148

Repentance is a thing that cannot be trifled with every day. Daily transgression and daily repentance is not that which is pleasing in the sight of God.

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
Sin Appears to be Fun
Conference Report, April 1967, pp.66-67

Who ever said that sin was not fun?  Who ever claimed that Lucifer was not handsome, persuasive, easy, friendly?  Who ever said that sin was unattractive, undesirable, or nauseating in its acceptance?  Transgression wears elegant gowns and sparkling apparel.  It is highly perfumed, has attractive features, a soft voice.

Pres. Joseph Fielding Smith
The Influence of Friends
Answers to Gospel Questions 5:79

If any friend or relative endeavors to lead a person away from the commandments, it is better to dispense with his friendship and association rather than to follow him in evil practices to destruction. ...

If you have friends or associates who endeavor to entice you to commit sin, cut them off. ... It is better to forsake friends or companions who indulge in improper conduct than to be led by them into the committing of some sin or transgression against the divine will. ... [Reject] the enticings of friends whenever some improper project or action is contemplated, even if it should mean the loss of such friendship no matter how dear it has been to us.

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
The Danger of Delaying Confessions
Miracle of Forgiveness,  pp.168-169

Sinful habits may be compared to a river which flows slowly and placidly at first, then gains speed as it nears the falls over the precipice In the stream of sin, it is relatively easy to repent at first, but as the sin becomes more and more entrenched the overcoming becomes increasingly difficult. If one ignores the roar of the falls below, he is doomed; if he will not listen to the warnings given him, he is sucked into the swift current to destruction.

Elder James E. Talmage
Procrastination Leads to Inability to Repent
Articles of Faith,  pp.104-105

The gift of repentance is extended to men as they humble themselves before the Lord ... Repentance becomes more difficult as sin is more wilful; it is by humility and contrition of the heart that sinners may increase their faith in God, and so obtain from Him the gift of repentance.

As the time of repentance is procrastinated, the ability to repent grows weaker; neglect of opportunity in holy things develops inability. ...

No soul is justified in postponing his efforts to repent ... We know not fully on what terms repentance will be obtainable in the hereafter; but to suppose that the soul who has wilfully rejected the opportunity of repentance in this life will find it easy to repent there is contrary to reason. To procrastinate the day of repentance is to deliberately place ourselves in the power of the adversary. 

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
A Confession Should be Voluntary
Miracle of Forgiveness, p.181
 

It follows that the ideal confession is voluntary, not forced. It is induced from within the offender's soul, not sparked by being found out in the sin. Such confession, like the voluntary humility of which Alma spoke (Alma 32:13-16), is a sign of growing repentance. It indicates the sinner's conviction of sin and his desire to abandon the evil practices. The voluntary confession is infinitely more acceptable in the sight of the Lord than is forced admission, lacking humility, [extracted] from an individual by questioning when guilt is evident. Such forced admission is not evidence of the humble heart which calls forth the Lord's mercy: "... For I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts." (D&C 61:2)

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
A Confession is Confidential
Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 334-335
 

The bishop is expected to keep confidential the confession of the transgressor, unless he considers the sins serious enough and the repentance slack enough to take the matter before the bishop's court or the high council court. The keeping of full confidence makes it possible for the repentant individual to retain the confidence and win the friendly support of all with whom he associates. If the bishop sees fit to forgive the transgression, that is, to waive penalties, he may wish to keep very close to the sinner for a substantial period to assist and encourage him while the person is overcoming his errors and transforming his life. And at the discretion of the bishop, those who have cleared their transgressions and shared their burdens with their bishop or proper authority, can then move forward in Church activity with freedom and assurance.

Now, in a spirit of sympathy and love, I speak to you who may be struggling against temptations for which there is no moral expression. Some have resisted temptation but never seem to be free from it.  Do not yield!  Cultivate the spiritual strength to resist—all of your life, if need be.

Some are tortured by thoughts of covenants already forsaken and sometimes think of suicide. Suicide is no solution at all. Do not even think of it. The very fact that you are so disturbed marks you as a spiritually sensitive soul for whom there is great hope.

You may wonder why God does not seem to hear your pleading prayers and erase these temptations. When you know the gospel plan, you will understand that the conditions of our mortal probation require that we be left to choose. That test is the purpose of life. While these addictions may have devoured, for a time, your sense of morality or quenched the spirit within you, it is never too late.

You may not be able, simply by choice, to free yourself at once from unworthy feelings. You can choose to give up the immoral expression of them.

The suffering you endure from resisting or from leaving a life-style of addiction or perversion is not a hundredth part of that suffered by your parents, your spouse or your children, if you give up. Theirs is an innocent suffering because they love you. To keep resisting or to withdraw from such a life-style is an act of genuine unselfishness, a sacrifice you place on the altar of obedience. It will bring enormous spiritual rewards.

Remember that agency, that freedom of choice that you demanded when you forsook your covenants? That same agency can now be drawn upon to exert a great spiritual power of redemption.

The love we offer may be a tough love, but it is of the purest kind; and we have more to offer than our love.  We can teach you of the cleansing power of repentance. If covenants have been broken, however hard it may be, they may be reinstated, and you can be forgiven. Even for abortion? Yes, even that!

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
Judgments May Vary from Case to Case
Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 338-339

 
A member ... wrote to me asking why a certain man had not been excommunicated.  He said the case was flagrant and was generally known.  He also wanted to know why the bishop was not disciplined for having forgiven the offender and having granted him continued activity in the Church.  The answer I gave might clear the matter in others' minds, and I quote in part here: ...

... Our bishops and stake presidents are instructed to handle these matters with dispatch and with mercy and with understanding and with love.  ... The rules concerning the handling of these matters are somewhat flexible. Recognizing that repentance is vital to the salvation of all of us since all men sin in a lesser or a greater degree, and since the intensity of repentance, which is an intangible thing, can be determined fully only by inspiration and discernment, it is left generally to the discretion of the ecclesiastical leader to decide on the treatment of the case, since all cases are different. Some are vicious, intentional, premeditated, repeated and unrepented of; others seem to have some extenuating circumstances or may have been done under a moment of passion or pressures of unusual situations, and are followed by sincere repentance. Accordingly the treatment of these cases is left largely to the bishop in the ward or the president in the stake or the president of the mission.

In my experience, I have found repentance is also an intangible. One must judge by the feel rather than by what is said or done, and in my experience, numerous times two people have committed the same sin and one might be eligible for forgiveness and the blessing of the Church in months where another would not be ready in years. In fact, I have seen this--one hard and cold and belligerent and unrepentant, and the other bowed in "sackcloth and ashes" with a "broken heart and a contrite spirit" and willing to do anything to make good. It must be obvious that no period of one year or ten years or one month or a lifetime should be the determining factor. Even the Lord will not forgive a person in his sins. If the bishop or stake president is careless and grants forgiveness when it is not justified, the responsibility is with him.

It is obvious that the public cannot know the degree nor intensity of repentance. A person having committed a serious sin may have shed bushels of tears and prayed numerous hours and lasted many days, and may have the most total and effective repentance, and yet the public would have no way of knowing it.  It would be quite improper for the bishop or stake president who has been doing the interviewing, to announce this publicly.  Hence, the people must leave this matter to the bishop or stake president and, as indicated above, they may do so with confidence.  It is proper for us, when we feel that something is wrong and might have been overlooked by the presiding authority, to call it to his attention, and when we have done this the responsibility is passed to the ecclesiastical leader.